漂亮男孩

非常好，我感觉呃这个评分是合理的，这部电影是我的白人朋友给我推荐的一个电影，我有点不确定他推荐的是pretty boy or beautiful boy so。

我会再查一下的，因为我搜的就是直接当时他说了之后我就翻译成漂亮男孩儿就直接搜了，所以我不确定是不是这个，如果是这个的话，我真的不能共情白人。

我真的很难理解。

他身边所有人都爱他的家人，甚至可以放弃自己新的家庭,自己的工作去想办法去支持他，为了他去尝试毒品，可是他却觉得这样的生活无聊，觉得这样的生活困住了他，他要去吸毒去。

体会那种刺激去毁掉现在的所有。

要知道这样平凡的好的所有人都爱你的生活，是很多人一辈子都得不到的。

我真的非常非常难共情，我一个原生家庭很不幸福的女生朋友说，真不敢想我如果是他，所有人都这么爱我我还是多开朗的小女孩……

亲爱的，请坚持下去走下去活下去，一切都会过去的都会好的，好吗？

Hey, you're a good brother, very good.Hey listen, Nic, you're a good person,a good man, a beautiful boy, my beautiful boy, very very good.I love you is like everything. I love you more than everything. -Everything谢谢凯伦，去开车追的那个转身，车上由眼睛快速坠下来的泪，那一句"Come on （快点）"，真的，我觉得有什么东西想让我哭了。

我不是专业影评人，我没接触过相关专业知识，我不知道该如何去正确而又专业的评价分析影片，我不懂得如何去看待电影情节剧本镜头人物的安排，我不知道什么样的电影对于专业来说是一个极具价值的影片我不知道我不懂……我现在只是一个爱电影的人。

但是在这部评分不怎么好的电影里，我看到了挣扎对抗请求生命和真实，我受到了共鸣，感染，感动。

现在没有任何专业知识与专业评价思想的我，只有凭心来感受影片里的所有。

很显然，在这里它感受到了一些可以起反应的东西。

一切都是有关成长迷茫和挣扎。

如果你身边有这样的人，不论他她是否漂亮，请别放弃他她，他她不是不愿意而是没能力，请给他她需要的帮助支持，请给他她你能给的爱，请让他她回家。

请别让她他一个人，那会让他她很害怕。

别奢望太多的奇迹，生命就一次太稀罕了，帮他把架在脖子上的那把刀拿下来，带着他走到阳光下弟弟妹妹旁，他依然是个好哥哥，就跟以前一样。

请知道他是真的真的真的很想戒掉，他很痛苦挣扎，他跟别人没有什么不同，只是深陷泥沼的他，大多数时候是毒品在跟你说话。

影片并未从尼克的视角展开，以至于人们会觉得恨铁不成钢。

尼克拥有一个如此深爱他的父亲，即便父母离婚但给他的爱却从未减少。

并且尼克聪明又漂亮，家庭虽算不上幸福但也并不悲惨。

无论如何也不至于沦落至此吧？！

是的，和那些无家可归，食不果腹的人们比起来，尼克简直算得上幸福。

但成长创伤并非无病呻吟！

不是只有生理上遭受的折磨和痛苦才算是伤害，心理上遭受的不安，恐惧和挣扎对一个孩子来说也同样是毁灭性的。

也正是这些对于一个孩子来说无法自我消化的伤害和痛苦使尼克不幸的同时患上了抑郁症和躁郁症。

大多数人的生活都只是平凡又普通的，即便是遭受的痛苦也是，不是所有的苦难都来的那么极端和戏剧化，但它们的破坏力却丝毫不差。

即便没有尼克的视角，我也深刻体会到他受到伤害的每一刻。

如果你依然觉得尼克不不至于此，过于矫情，那你不妨试着想一下：那个曾经完全只属于你的父亲突然有了新的家庭，你多希望可以融入他们，你也做好了去爱他们的准备。

但你发现你就是融入不了，不是你的错，也不是他们的错，但，你就是自然而然的被排除在外了。

那个曾经只属于你的父亲，有了一个与你无关的爱人，以及两个与你无关的孩子。

曾经完整的父爱被分割，被削弱。

那些曾经理所当然完全属于你的爱如今却使你感觉到自己像在乞讨。

你知道这不是父亲的错，不是继母的错，更不是无辜弟弟妹妹们的错。

你的母亲爱你，你的父亲也爱你，但他们不再相爱，所以父母分开也没有错。

你没有理由怪罪任何人，于是你的痛苦无从消解，无从发泄。

无尽的孤独感和消失的归属感将你抛在了无边的海浪里，你的安感消失的无影无踪。

父母的爱在这无尽的大海里随着海浪的起伏在完全相反的方向发出声响。

你确信他们都在，你挣扎着追寻着母亲的声音游去，但你越靠近母亲，对于父亲的思念就越是难以抑制，于是你又转身追寻父亲的声音游去。

当你越是靠近父亲，母亲失落孤单的影像在你脑海里出现。

你感到内疚，懊悔，自责….最终，你筋疲力尽，痛苦又迷茫。

父母离婚再婚，如同犯错的人纠正了自己的错误，而你发现，你的存在却是他们曾经犯错的直接证明。

他们都在忙着纠正自己的错误，维护目前的正轨，他们的确都爱你，但他们的相互指责同时也撕裂了你的爱。

和母亲在一起时，你必须表现出对母亲更多的爱以表忠心，与父亲在一起时亦然。

你爱任何一方的时候都像是对另一方的背叛。

这些所有的一切都令你陷入痛苦的无尽深渊，谁都没有错，但却只有你承受着无尽的孤独和折磨。

并且，你无法寻求帮助，你甚至没有意识到自己需要帮助。

父母依然爱你，从未改变，你只觉得是自己的问题。

你的痛苦，不安，敏感，焦虑以及被剥离被孤立的感觉在你身体里四面八方的剧烈拉扯着，直到撕裂……

Either peace or happiness,let it enfold youwhen I was a young manI felt these things weredumb, unsophisticated.I had bad blood, a twistedmind, a precariousupbringing.I was hard as granite, Ileered at thesun.I trusted no man andespecially nowoman.I was living a hell insmall rooms, I brokethings, smashed things,walked through glass,cursed.I challenged everything,was continually beingevicted, jailed, in andout of fights, in and outof my mind.women were somethingto screw and railat, I had no malefriends,I changed jobs andcities, I hated holidays,babies, history,newspapers, museums,grandmothers,marriage, movies,spiders, garbagemen,english accents,spain,france,italy,walnuts andthe colororange.algebra angred me,opera sickened me,charlie chaplin was afakeand flowers were forpansies.peace and happiness to mewere signs ofinferiority,tenants of the weakandaddledmind.but as I went on withmy alley fights,my suicidal years,my passage throughany number ofwomen-it graduallybegan to occur tomethat I wasn't differentfrom theothers, I was the same,they were all fulsomewith hatred,glossed over with pettygrievances,the men I fought inalleys had hearts of stone.everybody was nudging,inching, cheating forsome insignificantadvantage,the lie was theweapon and theplot wasempty,darkness was thedictator.cautiously, I allowedmyself to feel goodat times.I found moments ofpeace in cheaproomsjust staring at theknobs of somedresseror listening to therain in thedark.the less I neededthe better Ifelt.maybe the other life had worn medown.I no longer foundglamourin topping somebodyin conversation.or in mounting thebody of some poordrunken femalewhose life hadslipped away intosorrow.I could never acceptlife as it was,i could never gobbledown all itspoisonsbut there were parts,tenuous magic partsopen for theasking.I re formulatedI don't know when,date, time, allthatbut the changeoccurred.something in merelaxed, smoothedout.i no longer had toprove that I was aman,I didn't have to proveanything.I began to see things:coffee cups lined upbehind a counter in acafe.or a dog walking alonga sidewalk.or the way the mouseon my dresser topstopped therewith its body,its ears,its nose,it was fixed,a bit of lifecaught within itselfand its eyes lookedat meand they werebeautiful.then- it wasgone.I began to feel good,I began to feel goodin the worst situationsand there were plentyof those.like say, the bossbehind his desk,he is going to haveto fire me.I've missed too manydays.he is dressed in asuit, necktie, glasses,he says, 'I am goingto have to let you go''it's all right' I tellhim.He must do what hemust do, he has awife, a house, children,expenses, most probablya girlfriend.I am sorry for himhe is caught.I walk onto the blazingsunshine.the whole day isminetemporarily,anyhow.(the whole world is at thethroat of the world,everybody feels angry,short-changed, cheated,everybody is despondent,disillusioned)I welcomed shots ofpeace, tattered shards ofhappiness.I embraced that stufflike the hottest number,like high heels, breasts,singing,theworks.(don't get me wrong,there is such a thing as cockeyed optimismthat overlooks allbasic problems just forthe sake ofitself-this is a shield and asickness.)The knife got near mythroat again,I almost turned on thegasagainbut when the goodmoments arrivedagainI didn't fight them offlike an alleyadversary.I let them take me,I luxuriated in them,I made them welcomehome.I even looked intothe mirroronce having thoughtmyself to beugly,I now liked whatI saw, almosthandsome, yes,a bit ripped andragged,scares, lumps,odd turns,but all in all,not too bad,almost handsome,better at least thansome of those moviestar faceslike the cheeks ofa baby'sbutt.and finally I discoveredreal feelings ofothers,unheralded,like lately,like this morning,as I was leaving,for the track,i saw my wife in bed,just theshape ofher head there(not forgettingcenturies of the livingand the dead andthe dying,the pyramids,Mozart deadbut his music stillthere in theroom, weeds growing,the earth turning,the tote board waiting forme)I saw the shape of mywife's head,she so still,I ached for her life,just being thereunder thecovers.I kissed her in theforehead,got down the stairway,got outside,got into my marvelouscar,fixed the seatbelt,backed out thedrive.feeling warm tothe fingertips,down to myfoot on the gaspedal,I entered the worldoncemore,drove down thehillpast the housesfull and emptyofpeople,I saw the mailman,honked,he wavedbackat me.

Life is more desperate and complex in real.看完电影后研究过原剧本，是学习的范本：剧本（故事+结构）五分，摄影五分，演技五分，配乐五分，发人深省四分（因为国内不具备这样的文化基础，在LA亲身体验过身边的人吸的日常，共鸣感更强）。

"Do you know how much I love you?" （你知道我有多爱你吗？

）The boy shakes his head. (小男孩摇头。

)“If you could take all the words in the language, it's still wouldn't describe how much I love you. If you could gather all these words together, it's still wouldn't describe what I feel for you. What I feel for you is everything. I love you more than everything." (世上所有语言加起来，都无法形容我多爱你。

你把所有语句拼凑在一起，也无法形容我对你的爱。

我对你的爱就是一切。

我对你的爱超越一切。

)"Everything?" （超越一切？

）"Yeah. Everything." （对，一切。

）只有自己能救赎自己。

真心、才华和好的管理与配合就能制作出好的电影。

很难接触到的题材。

甜茶的表现力与爆发力在这部电影中可以说是impressive and incredible. 影片结局不是所谓毒瘾少年改头换面重新做人的圆满，因为你知道的，那就是他。

我想到一年前的幼童自缢事件。

如今的我并不知精神压迫和动辄打骂哪个属于更好的教育方式，甚至会怀疑“教育”这东西，我觉得只是大人用自己的傲慢也好耐心也好碰运气遇到一个跟你对盘的小朋友。

像是驯服，可人不是动物。

为了那段欲到窒息的吻戏看，看了才发现是冰毒之后的高潮，瞬间毫无感觉。

好莱坞最深情最甜的爹 是当年《阳光小美女》里的gay uncle，最让人心疼的崽是一步一步注定万丈光芒的茶。

从《史蒂文森小姐》到《CMBYN》到这部《漂亮男孩》到《lady bird》到《小妇人》到《纽约的一个下雨天》到《沙丘》，我总打趣说我能看到同是infp的他的所有感性倾注和没有防御的脆弱。

他是这样的体验派演员，他生来就一定会成为一个movie star. 故事插叙的乱七八糟，剪辑一片混乱完全是硬伤，叙事立足点完全没有打出来，于是父子再好的演员也无济于事。

我在想我的仔也是从小就被说是漂亮男孩，值得最好的父母的仔。

可是我总是害怕我没有那么好，那么强力，在他未来需要抉择的时候帮助他选择看起来更多的那条路。

甚至在他无助的时候我也会无助，我甚至没有办法在姨妈期间对他保持耐心。

我的缺点会在他日后造成没办法纠正的影响… 想到这些我就很绝望。

不要说他深陷毒品，他失恋我可能都没办法让自己以正确的角色和方式出现能帮到他。

作为父母的视角看孩子 一个所谓自己的作品 其实“充满了【盲点】。

”你的视角 你爱他的不行。

他的视角可能无助，害怕，丧失，毫无安全感。

说到这去看了漂亮男孩影评区的第一篇影评。

作者：hugo蔷薇（来自豆瓣）来源：https://movie.douban.com/review/9878272/太牛逼了。

无论是原著还是电影 真的是我见过看的最透彻的影评之一了。

仔细看完作者所有的解析发现、我茶真的也是把角色吃透到烂了。

天赋异禀。

这篇影评里有一段甜茶的获奖词如下：【在此我引用甜茶在颁奖季的一则获奖发言，也是他对于参与这部电影的领悟，发出来分享给大家:在成长的过程中，有一个瞬间，我意识到父母和周围其他成年人都是是普通的人。

所谓人类，就是有着各种各样的弱点和缺点，这个发现对我的表演产生了最大的影响。

但当我得知每个人都是脆弱的，都会受到伤害的时候，我感到了恐惧和失败。

我的梦想是成为一名职业运动员。

像勒布朗詹姆斯或莱昂内尔梅西这样的球员。

我被无敌的人所吸引，而不是其他任何东西。

然而，我看到自己在镜子里，意识到我不能像他们一样。

除了太瘦弱之外，我不具备那样的才华（会议厅笑）。

我去了纽约的戏剧学校，我的叔叔，母亲，姐姐都去了。

我开始有所改变。

在我的生命中，我第一次坠入爱河，我感到前所未有的兴奋感，就像当初我想成为运动员一样，但这次我不是想成为超级英雄而是憧憬成为一个普通人。

像希斯莱杰和瑞凡凤凰这样精致的艺术家，和不屈不挠的梅西和勒布朗同样具有吸引力。

那些敢于展现脆弱的演员都使人着迷，我开始疯狂地学习他们的作品。

真实的人物、真实的故事所揭露的人性真相是那样鼓舞人心，我希望总有一天得到认可的不再仅仅是那些赞颂人类不可战胜的作品，而是那些看到我们缺陷之美的作品。

】看到这我瞬间有点点释然我们的路 他的路 总不能都被“过去”决定。

即使人生复杂，也总有机会走向还不错的方向。

以及永远要相信爱珍惜爱。

是真的持久的爱而不是只是短暂出现的关心。

写到这真的好累。

为甜茶看的。

电影的配乐实在太减分了，好多配乐非常突兀且不明所以。

导演可能是以记录为主，导致电影传达的含意比较模糊。

甜茶本身的阴郁气质和角色还是十分符合的。

电影里更多的展现的是尼克清醒的时候，而不是吸毒后神魂颠倒的样子，清醒的时候尼克总是自责羞愧的，想戒掉毒瘾，但是太多的自责羞愧让他更想吸毒来解脱，父亲大部分时间对儿子吸毒原因的疑惑不解、迫切希望儿子回归正轨、怀疑儿子复吸，都无形中在加重尼克的羞愧，所以大卫翻看尼克记录吸毒心路历程的日记可能是影片中最重要最有意义的部分。

尼克在父母家人面前表演完正常、他们期望的一面之后，独处的时候就只剩下更大的空虚需要被毒品填满，也是他不断复吸的原因之一。

但电影和小说一样，最终也没有明确的表达出尼克最初沉迷毒品的原因。

电影虽然无意为吸毒者开脱，但也确实想传达出吸毒者的彷徨无奈、内心的孤独无助，吸毒最终成瘾不仅是内心的屈服，更是日渐积累的疾病（基因以及多巴胺神经元的损伤）。

电影可能希望戒毒者的家人能够像大卫一样，充分理解吸毒的尼克的痛苦与挣扎，更加理解、更有耐心地引导、帮助、陪伴他们，别对他们失去信心。

（片中和片尾念到的Charles Bukowski诗作，觉得非常美。

找出来分享。

）Either peace or happiness, let it enfold you when I was a young man I felt these things were dumb, unsophisticated. I had bad blood, a twisted mind, a precarious upbringing. I was hard as granite, I leered at the sun. I trusted no man and especially no woman. I was living a hell in small rooms, I broke things, smashed things, walked through glass, cursed. I challenged everything, was continually being evicted, jailed, in and out of fights, in and out of my mind. women were something to screw and rail at, I had no male friends, I changed jobs and cities, I hated holidays, babies, history, newspapers, museums, grandmothers, marriage, movies, spiders, garbagemen, english accents,spain, france,italy,walnuts and the color orange. algebra angered me, opera sickened me, charlie chaplin was a fake and flowers were for pansies. peace and happiness to me were signs of inferiority, tenants of the weak and addled mind. but as I went on with my alley fights, my suicidal years, my passage through any number of women-it gradually began to occur to me that I wasn't different from the others, I was the same, they were all fulsome with hatred, glossed over with petty grievances, the men I fought in alleys had hearts of stone. everybody was nudging, inching, cheating for some insignificant advantage, the lie was the weapon and the plot was empty, darkness was the dictator. cautiously, I allowed myself to feel good at times. I found moments of peace in cheap rooms just staring at the knobs of some dresser or listening to the rain in the dark. the less I needed the better I felt. maybe the other life had worn me down. I no longer found glamour in topping somebody in conversation. or in mounting the body of some poor drunken female whose life had slipped away into sorrow. I could never accept life as it was, i could never gobble down all its poisons but there were parts, tenuous magic parts open for the asking. I re formulated I don't know when, date, time, all that but the change occurred. something in me relaxed, smoothed out. i no longer had to prove that I was a man, I didn't have to prove anything. I began to see things: coffee cups lined up behind a counter in a cafe. or a dog walking along a sidewalk. or the way the mouse on my dresser top stopped there with its body, its ears, its nose, it was fixed, a bit of life caught within itself and its eyes looked at me and they were beautiful. then- it was gone. I began to feel good, I began to feel good in the worst situations and there were plenty of those. like say, the boss behind his desk, he is going to have to fire me. I've missed too many days. he is dressed in a suit, necktie, glasses, he says, 'I am going to have to let you go' 'it's all right' I tell him. He must do what he must do, he has a wife, a house, children, expenses, most probably a girlfriend. I am sorry for him he is caught. I walk onto the blazing sunshine. the whole day is mine temporarily, anyhow. (the whole world is at the throat of the world, everybody feels angry, short-changed, cheated, everybody is despondent, disillusioned) I welcomed shots of peace, tattered shards of happiness. I embraced that stuff like the hottest number, like high heels, breasts, singing,the works. (don't get me wrong, there is such a thing as cockeyed optimism that overlooks all basic problems just for the sake of itself- this is a shield and a sickness.) The knife got near my throat again, I almost turned on the gas again but when the good moments arrived again I didn't fight them off like an alley adversary. I let them take me, I luxuriated in them, I made them welcome home. I even looked into the mirror once having thought myself to be ugly, I now liked what I saw, almost handsome, yes, a bit ripped and ragged, scares, lumps, odd turns, but all in all, not too bad, almost handsome, better at least than some of those movie star faces like the cheeks of a baby's butt. and finally I discovered real feelings of others, unheralded, like lately, like this morning, as I was leaving, for the track, i saw my wife in bed, just the shape of her head there (not forgetting centuries of the living and the dead and the dying, the pyramids, Mozart dead but his music still there in the room, weeds growing, the earth turning, the tote board waiting for me) I saw the shape of my wife's head, she so still, I ached for her life, just being there under the covers. I kissed her in the forehead, got down the stairway, got outside, got into my marvelous car, fixed the seatbelt, backed out the drive. feeling warm to the fingertips, down to my foot on the gas pedal, I entered the world once more, drove down the hill past the houses full and empty of people, I saw the mailman, honked, he waved back at me.

父母的爱都是有限度的。

所有的意义都始于你愿意去寻找这个意义，你愿意加入这个体系，相当于你愿意加入这个游戏，依据这些规则去寻求一种意义，或者经历。

而当你没有欲望加入这些俗世体系的时候呢？

巨大的黑洞，无法填补的空白，周遭毫无意义的一切。

真的，难道会有人感受不到吗？

只是程度的不同吧。

很多的父母把人生的意义赋予了培养孩子上，对于孩子，他们就像一座稳固的泰山，绝对可以依靠的人。

当这种依靠坍塌了的时候要怎么样呢？

当曾经是自己的一切，视自己为一切的父母，要把这一切分给别人，孩子会怎么想？

分走的一切要怎么找回来呢？

当他们不足以消化这一切的时候，一定需要一个出口。

酒精，毒品，还是打架，就要不好好的。

能全怪他们吗？

我完全可以理解nic 的爸爸突然放手了，突然不爱了，就像你迷恋的一个东西，一个瞬间突然不香了，可能不贴切，道理都是一样的。

活着就像死了一样，已经不是原来自己的那个漂亮孩子了，只能割舍了，及时止损，感情上的止损。

他可能不是个完美的父亲，但是他做了他能做的，每个人有自己的做事方法，所有的悲剧都有一个原因，多希望我能阻止那个悲剧发生，但身在其中的时候往往又是迷茫的，无处发力的，最后眼睁睁走向了悲剧。