杀手没有假期

迷影背后是科恩昆丁。

麦克唐纳延续《枕头人》里的关怀，童年、暴力和无所适从。

戏剧观上接通《等待戈多》，文本则与《麦吉与尼基》互文，导演显然期待《低级小说》式的“绞合性的爆发”。

对于误杀儿童的不容忍更多出于一种原教旨的人道主义而不能够被认为是追求完美的犯罪者强迫症发作。

麦克唐纳偏执的道义观与写实主义完全不可兼容，正如他在片中反复提及的《时光大盗》，吉列姆提供的写作方式或许是他有意参照的：去历史主义的宗教漫画和反对现代影像科技主义的疯癫超现实（本片中最后一场由布鲁日片场的拍摄场面完成“戏仿”对于现实的介入）。

可贵之处在于麦克唐纳精心设计的循环赋予了这一脱线日志以杀手职业本质（反上帝）与道德理想主义的悖论视野，并几乎完成了对这一论题的评价。

如同片中展示中世纪宗教画作有关但丁神话及审判日寓言的视觉呈式，《杀手无假期》头尾相接的因果狡计揭示的是有关救赎历史的密码，人物行动所遭遇的不可预知的往复无间反对的是不再信仰自然宇宙理性或“上帝之国”的“历史的命运”或“进步之轮”。

麦克唐纳将一切的人物关系和动力给定在了报复性的反复之中，但最终留给法瑞尔一条性命（由于坠楼者的舍身警告）则似乎说明导演本人站在历史神意论的对立面，仍然最大限度的肯定人性，并将之视为取消救赎后唯一超越性的可能。

飞机上没事做，依旧打算看电影。

简介里看到colin，以为是科林叔，于是兴致勃勃地点了开始，开始后发现，原来是另一个科林。

英国人最喜欢搞各种反语。

It's very interesting=I'm bored。

It's my fault=This is your mistake。

对此我深有体会。

学校小秘一口英伦腔，我申请东西需要签个名，小秘让我找advisor，结果advisor说不该她管，我原话返回给小秘，小秘面无表情地反问，not her business? oh～that's excellent, very very excellent！

所以每次看英国电影，都要习惯他们认真表情下带着微笑，极其亲切地口吐讽刺，或者将剧情生生逆转，你还只能哭笑不得。

比如说生死关头还能琢磨“僻静角落”这个词被比利时人用得对不对。

比如说那个肥胖美国人非要上塔，胖子委婉地说塔里很窄──这其实是一个梗，后来我们会发现，拉叔和胖子要去塔上决斗，管理员说：今天下午塔不开放，因为上午有个美国人爬楼的时候心脏病死了。

你稍微笨得像美国人一点，就没法理解，还以为人家是赞美你。

比如科林叔在A single man里和朱利安笑得花枝乱颤的那段。

幸好这部戏里的侏儒同学深有自知之明：我是美国人，不过你别歧视我。

令我笑得头撞玻璃的当属拉叔跟独眼男的对话：怎么看都是你的错好伐，是你去抢劫他，是你要拿空包弹去抢他，是你被他抢了枪，是你被他拿空包弹打了眼睛──要被空包弹打伤眼睛不容易啊，你肯定站得很近──谁让你站那么近？

我是要去杀他，不过无法否认你是个白痴啊。

这部戏很有趣。

类型是惊悚犯罪，可是前半部分就是讲两个大男人在布鲁日游船逛博物馆，平淡无趣，其中一个还是同性恋，莫不是要变成浪漫爱情片了吧？

接着终于有了点小剧情。

柯林同学曾误杀了一个小男孩，于是他们开始讨论起人生啊来世啊。

咦，这是不是要变成哲理片了？

过了一会儿终于来了高潮。

胖子接到任务，要做掉柯林。

要是美国佬来拍这部戏，接下去一定是胖子心有不忍，放柯林一马，然后柯林在追杀中逃出生天，最后和美女一起逍遥法外。

可惜这是擅长幽默的英国佬在拍电影。

英国佬笑了：您能再俗套点吗？

之后的剧情就是各种神展开。

前面的铺垫那么长，你总能在后面找到呼应。

比如餐厅里被误认为是美国人的加拿大人，后来就上火车来找殴打他的罪犯，不是这一段，柯林同学早溜了，拉叔也只能在朝胖子腿上打一枪泄愤后悻悻回家。

又比如拉叔和胖子理论时说，这是原则问题，谁叫他杀了小男孩后被你带走了？

要是我，我当场吞枪自杀。

这是原则！

原则！

还比如侏儒同学。

若不是最后一天穿成卖报小童样，也不会被误以为是小男孩。

西装革履的话，拉叔也不至于饮弹自尽。

美国人的HE硬是被英国佬搞成BE，而且我还是不停傻笑着看到最后。

比如本来柯林同学已经跳到船上了，船开出去老大一截，他傻坐在上面，自言自语：啊你打不到我你打不到我，这么远，有毛可能打到我啊？

然后就看到拉叔邪魅一笑，砰一枪，正中红心──这一幕是不是很像猫和老鼠之类的动画片?每次胖子对着伏地魔的脸真诚叫道：harry。

我就会默默把脸扭到一边──这感觉太违和了。

拉叔是剧情过了一半后才真的露脸。

那一连串f×cking留言，实在是太笑场了。

爱尔兰爆粗用bloody，相比之下，还是fxcking简介有力又押韵啊。

拉叔特别有原则，不动小孩，包括女人肚子里的小孩，也不许别人说自己小孩的坏话，不然当场崩掉你都不用说对不起。

所以看到旅店老板娘叉腰站在楼梯上不准他过去那里，觉得英国人的绅士原则实在是囧萌囧萌的存在啊。

胖子对拉叔的深情表白，不止拉叔傻了，我也笑场了。

在如此严肃的决斗场合说什么“我爱你，爱你的高尚人格”，是要闹哪样啊？

刚刚在塔下才骂人家是个无药可救的大混蛋，转身就我的爱了，也只剩有原则的拉叔才真的相信你不敢对你下手啊摔！

这招用得真是狠。

笑死我了。

然后我笑着笑着，就迎来了全灭的结局。

一口老血……作为一个去过布鲁日的人，最后要说一下，冬天的布鲁日真的是比较shitty啊！

姐是十月初去的，那时候才真是梦幻童话小城。

圣诞节时实在不够看了，什么都没有。

不过布鲁日的确是个文化古城。

圣血大教堂里供奉这十字军东征时取回来的耶稣之血。

另外一个教堂里还有米开朗基罗的圣母与圣子雕像。

塔旁有个达利的画廊（不过达利作假画也是出了名的，不怀疑那个画廊里有赝品复制品）。

有名的Bosch是布鲁日人，电影里出现的那幅炼狱之作就是典型的Bosch风格。

（我记得在马德里博物馆里有好多张Bosch的画，貌似渥太华的美术馆也有一张，特别小。

）有机会还是会再去一次布鲁日的。

有机会的话……

电影看完会有一丝的难过怎么回事这样的结局啊？

因为自己错手杀死了小孩心存内疚而要自杀的杀手因为想要拯救自己同伴而背叛了曾帮自己妻子报仇的上司的杀手因为严格执行自己的杀手理念，杀了无辜小孩就要谢罪的杀手老大是的，我觉得他们都很可爱。

电影的画面很漂亮，安逸祥和的画面。

中世纪的建筑，安静划过运河的木船，高雅的黑天鹅故事很英国幽默，画面却很孤独的感觉，漂亮的景色却寂然无声配乐也很赞，忧伤的音调，跟故事格格不入的同时却恰到好处结尾的哀伤久久不能散去在伦敦有一棵圣诞树，那里的礼物没有人拆，永远也不会有人去拆了……

初看像是《旅途的结束，世界的开始》一般的异国片，在他乡风光背景的有惊无险浪漫故事；但看罢觉得这是一出莎士比亚式悲剧，虽然套着轻佻的外壳，但却是在严肃地讨论命运的因果报应，和关于角色们的连串抉择和情感挣扎。

故事进展到塔楼下来前，我还被全片渲染的浪漫圣诞氛围欺骗，觉得这是出圣诞档期的有惊无险动作喜剧，大概3.5星水准，浪漫温馨和解大团圆；但然后风云突变，好像是命运女神（导演）看不惯角色们（观众们）的快乐圣诞，要让他们人间清醒，所以派去娘炮独眼龙去报信搅局，终于是将已轻轻放下的命运屠刀再次提起，在可悲的镜像命运中结束。

全片充斥英国佬那粗鲁又自以为是沾沾自喜的毒舌吐槽、还沉浸在日不落帝国中的对所有其他文化（美式的、欧陆的）的嘲笑，尽管如此，不能否认这部英片相当值得一看。

雷和肯，两个冷酷的杀手在布鲁日渡假。

雷，傻中带衰的年轻杀手，在误杀一名男孩后愧疚而无法自拔；肯，深沉而宽厚的中老年杀手，像个慈爱的老大哥。

哈利，他们的老板，一个满嘴脏话废话连天又神经质的黑帮老大，安排两人强制休假。

影片开始，两个杀手一边观光，一边絮絮叨叨回首不堪往事，互吐苦水互相安慰；雷遇到了美丽的女子，逐步陷入爱河；一切如同一个寻常浪漫的假期；可其实，假期只是一个阴谋，哈利安排两人渡假，是让肯杀了雷；肯难以抉择，一面是杀手的职业操守，一面是兄弟情深，如何取舍？

雷也遇到两难，他无法原谅自己的过错而对生命心灰意冷，可温馨的爱情又让他开始对人生报着希望，走在生与死的边缘，他犹豫不决。

所有的矛盾和冲突最后一同爆发……这是部黑色幽默的影片，中世纪的古城，悠然而冷静的画面，无厘头的对白，滑稽又深沉的剧情，让人在一抿微笑后，感到一丝伤感，一缕忧伤，一切都淡淡的，却回味无穷。

评了五星，隆重推荐。

摘录了部分经典对白：肯和雷在广场湖边谈心：肯：我杀了人，不是很多人，他们大多不是好人，除了一个人。

雷：谁？

肯：这个人是丹尼阿里邦的哥哥，他只是想保护弟弟，就像我们会做的一样。

他只是卖棒棒糖的，他拿着瓶子向我走来，你会怎么样？

……我杀了他。

雷：我的理解是，抱歉，如果拿着玻璃瓶，那就是致命武器，他自找的。

肯：我心里也那么想，我也知道他是想保护弟弟。

雷：我知道，但他拿着瓶子，或许会杀了你，这是你死我活的境地，如果他赤手空拳就另当别论。

肯：从技术上说，空手也能杀人，手也可以是致命武器，如果他会空手道呢？

雷：你说他是卖帮帮糖！

为什么卖棒棒糖的学空手道？

肯：我只是假设！

雷：他多大岁数？

肯：大概……50。

雷：50岁卖棒棒糖的老人他妈的学什么空手道？

难道他是卖棒棒糖的中国人？

天！

肯，我只想说 ……肯：我知道……肯告诉雷要杀他后：肯：来到布鲁日，是想给你留下最后美好的回忆。

雷：到布鲁日？

（雷苦思冥想）或许在巴哈马还行，为什么是布鲁日？

肯：……我猜……是便宜。

哈利给肯的电话留言：Number one，u aren’t in when I fucking told u to be in!Number two，why doesn’t this hotel have phone with fucking voicemail，and not I have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist?Number three，u better fucking be in tomorrow night when I fucking call again or there’ll be fucking hell to pay ，I ‘m fucking telling u。

HARRY第一， 我他妈叫你在旅馆等你却不在！

第二， 为什么这个旅馆没有他妈的留言机？

害我不得不让那他妈的接线员留言。

第三， 明天晚上我他妈再给你打电话的时候你最好他妈的在，否则就他妈的见鬼吧，我他妈的告诉你。

哈利雷和哈利在旅馆里对决，怀孕的店主玛丽卡在中间：雷：玛丽，让他上来，没事！

哈利，答应我，让她离开再开枪！

哈利：我发誓，她不离开我不开枪。

玛丽：我那里也不会去，这是我的旅馆，（转向哈利）要滚的是你！

雷和哈利左右为难。

哈利：我猜你也有枪对么？

雷：对。

哈利：那怎么办？

我们不能这样呆一晚上。

玛丽：为什么你们不放下枪回家去？

哈利：别傻了！

这是枪战！

仅仅看影片简介，《In Bruges》显然不是我的那杯茶，但我还是选择与之共度两个小时。

电影讲得是两个杀手奉命展开的一场“假期”之旅，辗转间竟谱就一出黑色幽默，让人忍俊不禁之余也会静心想一想。

影片景设欧洲名镇——布鲁日，建筑古老沧桑中暗藏一种淡定从容，风景典雅清丽中自显一丝悠闲自在，音乐舒缓轻扬中时有一份忧伤低沉，人物性格鲜明，嬉笑怒骂举手投足间，演技无懈可击。

Ray，抵达布鲁日之初，就非常烦躁郁闷，竖着个浓黑八字眉，古迹美景视若无睹，牢骚满腹，四处挑衅。

他的伙伴Ken，则悠哉游哉，一副既来之则安之的游客心态，欣享着名画古迹，流连在美景酒肆。

及后，方知初出茅庐的Ray，因为失手错杀无辜孩童，不得不避祸布鲁日。

他不能摆脱记忆中的血色，美酒佳人，也难减灵魂的重荷。

而老练的职业杀手Ken，则在无情指令下犹豫踌躇，不但不忍把枪口指向并肩的同伴，还及时喝止了他自杀的冲动。

温情，在那一刻绽放，但这样的转折，却又出离了杀手本应具备的冷酷与理智。

不知是因为厌倦了打打杀杀的日子呢，还是因为封存在来不及打开的遗书里的某个缘由，或者就是生无可恋，Ken把生的希望留给了毛头小伙，自己则公然挑衅坦然向死。

令不能行的Harry，大怒之下，披挂上阵，亲自追杀到布鲁日。

面对垂手就死的Ken，Harry也矛盾、也挣扎，最终还是选择了他的原则——无论如何，他要为枉死的男童索命。

而当自己犯下同样的错，穿透Ray的子弹也殃及到其身后视线不能及的侏儒，残留着余烟的枪管毫不犹豫得转向自己，坚定得扣下扳机，以命偿命。

细节的精致，让我品咂出盗亦有道的味道。

但为此赔上四条人命？

与所谓原则相比，人命似乎反而变得轻贱起来......这部影片里的三个杀手，都脱离了刻板的职业形象，各有特色；情节流转，更是出人意料，的确如你所言，不落俗套。

而且自己鲜少看这一类型的片子，所以观影中充满了新鲜感。

尤其值得一提的是精彩的电影原声。

影片一开始，音乐就一直在背景里铺垫过渡着，钢琴的轻快与大提琴的低沉交织，映衬着角色情绪的波动与矛盾；不急不徐的韵律，与欧洲一贯以之的缓慢节奏相呼应，似乎让人松弛了神经，而其实若有似无的不安躁动，一直在焖烧锅内积聚，等着沸腾的那一刻。

当Ken拖着流血的躯体，艰难得拾阶而上，《On Raglan Road》开始响起，低沉的男中音在耳边轻吟浅唱，远远的爱尔兰风笛飘来，酝酿了很久的情绪开始喷薄而出；等他在塔顶站定，俯身远眺，四周雾气朦胧；当硬币一个个坠落，路人好奇得驻足仰望；他整饰好衣装，凌空一跃，此刻的我，已全然沉浸在The Dubliners带来的充满爱尔兰风情的民谣中，哀而不伤，等待着一个似乎无可避免的结局。

On Raglan RoadOn Raglan Road on an autumn dayI saw her first and knewThat her dark hair would weave a snareThat I might one day rueI saw the danger and I passedAlong the enchanted wayAnd I said:"Let grief, be a fallen leafAt the dawning of the day"On Grafton Street in NovemberWe tripped lightly along the ledgeOf a deep ravine where can be seenThe worth of passion’s pledgeThe Queen of Hearts still making tartsAnd I not making hayOh I loved too much and by suchBy such is happiness thrown awayI gave her gifts of the mindI gave her the secret signsThat's known to the artists who have knownThe true gods of sound and stoneAnd word and tint did not stintI gave her poems to sayWith her own name there and her own dark hairLike clouds over fields of MayOn a quiet street where old ghosts meetI see her walking nowAway from me so hurriedlyMy reason must allowThat had I loved not as I shouldA creature made of clayWhen the angel woos the clayHe'd lose his wings at the dawn of day

主打黑色幽默的变格杀手片，俨然成为另一种次类型。

杀手们不断被拖离岗位，替换冷酷的是中年危机与救赎，从解决问题的人变成了问题所在。

今次的三位杀手，让导演兼编剧的McDonagh玩弄于一连串漫不经心的巧合间，节约利用任何一个伏笔，炮制了最后一场徒劳悲情的虚无救赎。

一个死的徒劳，什么都没能阻止；一个死的讽刺，虚无的原则经不起上帝开玩笑；一个死的遗憾，嗑药涌起的自杀倾向没能挽回他人生最后的三步错棋：杀小孩、打食客、瞎劫匪，都是暴力惹得祸。

Bruges原本只是几个英国人的度假圣地，没想到却成了他们的永久天堂。

http://www.douban.com/people/1972084/原作者三天时间出的台词，牛逼闪闪的人物。

2009-01-02 18:41:25In BrugesRay:After I killed them, I dropped the gun in the Thames,washed the residue off me hands in the bathroom of a Burger King,and walked home to await instructions.Shortly thereafter, the instructions came through."Get the fuck out of London, youse dumb fucks.Get to Bruges."I didn't even know where Bruges fucking was.It's in Belgium.Ray:Bruges is a shithole. Ken:Bruges is not a shithole.Ray:Bruges is a shithole.Ken:Ray, we've only just got off the fucking train.Could we reserve judgment on Bruges until we've seen the fucking place?Ray:I know it's gonna be a shithole.STREETRay:Shithole.HOTELKen:I think you have a couple of rooms booked under Cranham and Blakely?Marie:Yes. No, we have one room booked.One twin room. Booked for two weeks.Ray:Two weeks!Ken:Do you have another room?Marie:No, I'm afraid we're fully booked.With Christmas, everywhere is fully booked.Ken:Okay.ROOMKen:It's very pretty.Ray:I'm not being funny, we can't stay here.Ken:We've got to stay here until he rings.Ray:Well, what if he doesn't ring for two weeks?Ken:Then we stay here for two weeks.Ray:For two weeks? In fucking Bruges? In a room like this?With you? No way!Ken:Ray, I really don't like to say this...Ray:You really don't like to say what?Ken:Well... You know?Ray:Fucking bring that up.ON BOATRay:Do you think this is good?Ken:Do I think what's good?Ray:You know, going round in a boat, looking at stuff.Ken:Yes, I do.It's called "sightseeing."Ken:Oh, look at that.It's a former hospital. From the 1100s.Bruges is the most well-preserved medieval townin the whole of Belgium, apparently.SQUAREKen:Coming up? Ray:What's up there?Ken:The view.Ray:The view of what? The view of down here?I can see that from down here.Ken:Ray, you're about the worst tourist in the whole world.Ray:Ken, I grew up in Dublin. I love Dublin.If I'd grown up on a farm and was retarded,Bruges might impress me.But I didn't, so it doesn't.TOWERKen:Trying to get rid of me coins.3, 3.50, 4,4.10, 4.20, 4.30, 4.40, 4.50, 4.60,4.70,4.80,4.90.Will you take 4.90?Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.Ken:Come on, man, it's only 10 cents.Clerk:Entry is 5 euro.Ken:Happy in your work?Clerk:Very happy.ON THE TOWERI like it here.SQUAREAmericans:Been to the top of the tower?Ray:Yeah. Yeah, it's rubbish.Americans:It is? The guidebook says it's a "must-see".Ray:Well, you lot ain't going up there.Americans:Pardon me? Why?Ray:I mean, it's all windy stairs. I'm not being funny.Americans:What exactly are you trying to say?Ray:What exactly am I trying to say?Youse are a bunch of fucking elephants!Americans:Right, you...Americans Woman:You know, you're just the rudest man. The rudest man!Ken:What's all that about?Ray:They're not going up there.Ken:Hey, guys, I wouldn't go up there. It's really narrow.Americans Woman:Screw you, motherfucker!Ray:Americans, isn't it?PUBRay:Now, this is more like it. Proper holidays.One gay beer for my gay friend,and one normal beer for me, because I am normal.This is the life.Ken:We're not staying here getting pissed.We are quietly sightseeing, like he says,and awaiting his call to see what we do next.Ray:This is my vote on what we should do.We give it another day, two days, max.Then we check the papers again, and if there's still nothing in them,we phone him and say,"Harry, thank you for the trip to Bruges,"it's been very nice, all the old buildings and that,"but we're coming back to London now,and hide out in a proper country,"where it isn't all just fucking chocolates."Ken:My vote would be we quietly sightsee, like he says,and await his call to see what we do next.You don't even know we're here hiding out.Ray:What are you talking about?Ken:You don't even know we're not here on a job.Ray:What, on a job? Ken:Yeah.Ray:Here in Bruges? Ken:Yeah.Ray:Here in Bruges, on a job? Ken:Yeah.Ray:Why? What did he actually say?Ken:He didn't actually say anything.Ray:Then why do you think it might be?Ken:I don't think anything.But it's a bit fucking over-elaborate, isn't it?"Go take him to hide out." "Go take him to hide out where?""Go take him to hide out in fucking Bruges."You can hide out in Croydon.Ray:Hmm.Or Coventry.Hmm.It is a bit over-elaborate.Hmm.But we haven't got any guns.Ken:Harry can get guns anywhere.ROOMRay:He's not gonna ring tonight.He's not gonna ring tonight.Let's go out.Ken:Go out where? Ray:The pub.Ken:No!Ray:Let's go out and have a look at some of the...All the old medieval buildings and that.Because I bet they look even better at night, all lit up.Yes!STREETKen:That there is called the Gruuthuse Museum.Ray:They all have funny names, don't they?Ken:Yes, Flemish.Ray:In here it says, "The Belgians twice sheltered"fugitive English Kings from being murdered,1471 and 1651."Ken:I used to hate history, didn't you?It's all just a load of stuff that's already happened.What are they doing over there?They're filming something. They're filming midgets!Ken:Ray!Director:So, on this scene, you're supposed to walklike a little, tiny mouse, yeah?Okay? Great.Ken:Ray, come on, let's go.Ray:My arse, "Let's go." They're filming midgets.Oh, my God! Look at that girl.She's gorgeous!Ken:Ray, we're going right now.Ray:Fuck off, are we!This is the best bit of Bruges so far.You and your buildings.Ray:Hello.Do you speak English? Chloe:No.Ray:Yes, you do. Everybody does.What are you filming midgets for?Chloe:It's a Dutch movie. It's a dream sequence.It's a pastiche of Nicholas Roeg's Don't Look Now.Not a pastiche, but a...A "homage" is too strong. A "nod of the head"?Ray:Wow, your English is very good.Ray:A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves.A disproportionate amount.Herve Villechaize, of Fantasy Island.I think somebody off The Time Bandits.I suppose they must get really sad about, like,being really little and that.People looking at them and laughing at them.Calling them names. You know, "shortarse."There's another famous midgetI'm missing, but I can't remember.It's not the R2-D2 man. No, he's still going.I hope your midget doesn't kill himself.Your dream sequence will be fucked.Chloe:He doesn't like being called a midget.He prefers "dwarf."Ray:Well, this is exactly my point!People go around calling you a midget when you want to be called a dwarf.Of course you're gonna blow your head off!My name's Ray. What's yours? Chloe:Chloe.How did you get past the security man?Ray:Getting past security men, it's sort of my job.Chloe:You're a shoplifter?Ray:No, not a shoplifter.It's a good joke, though.No.I'll tell you what I am at dinner tomorrow night.Ray:Fuck.Ray:How fucking cool.HOTLEMarie:Mr. Blakely?Ken:Yes. No, Mr. Cranham. No. Yes. Mr. Blakely. Yes.Marie:You have a message.Ken:Shit!(Harry):Number one,why aren't you in when I fucking told you to be in?Number two,why doesn't this hotel have phones with fucking voicemailand not I have to leave messages with the fucking receptionist?Number three, you better fucking be in tomorrow nightwhen I fucking call againor there'll be fucking Hell to pay,I'm fucking telling you. Harry.(Marie):I'm not the receptionist,I'm the co-owner with my husband Patrice. Marie.ROOMKen:Would you turn the fucking light off!Ray:Sorry, Ken.Ken:Keep the fucking noise down!Ray:Someone's in a mood.You'll never guess what.Ken:Will you shut your fucking mouth, please, and go to sleep?Ray:Oh, sorry.Except I've gotta take me contact lenses out.Ray:Altogether,I had five pints of beer and six bottles.No. Six pints of beer and seven bottles.And you know what? I'm not even pissed!You'll never guess what, Ken.Ken, you'll never guess what. Ken:What?Ray:Got a date for tomorrow night.Ken:I'm very happy for you.Ray:With a girl.Ken:Can you turn the light off, please?Ray:Only been in Bruges one day,got a date with a girl in the film business,the Belgian film business.They're doing a film about a midget.HOTELKen:Miss?Marie?Sorry about the message last night.The man who left it is a bit of a...Well, he's a bit of a...Marie:Cock?Ken:Yes. He's a bit of a cock.Marie:Morning.Ken:Harry called last night.We missed him.Ray:Jeez, he swears a lot, doesn't he?Ken:We're staying in tonight. Whatever happens.Ray:Hmm.Except...Hmm. Ken:Hmm.Except "hmm" what?Ray:Except only one of us needs to stay in,really.Uh-huh.Ken:And which one of us would that be, now, Ray?I thought you didn't like Bruges.Ray:I don't like Bruges, it's a shithole.But I did already say I had a date with a Belgian lady in the Belgian film business, which I did already say about before.Ken:Just don't get into any fucking trouble.We're keeping a low profile.And this morning, and this afternoon,we are doing what I want to do.Got it? Ray:Of course.Which, I presume, will involve culture.Ken:Oh, we shall strike a balance between culture and fun.Ray:Somehow I believe, Ken,that the balance shall tip in the favor of culture.Like a big, fat, fucking retarded, fucking black girl on a seesaw, opposite a dwarf.CHURCHKen:Ray, did we or did we not agree that if I let you go on your date tonight,we'd do the things I wanted to do today?Ray:We are doing the things that you wanted to do today.Ken:And that we'd do them without you throwing a fucking moody,like some 5-year-old who's dropped all his sweets?Ray:I didn't agree to that.I'll cheer up. I'll cheer up.Ken:Up there, the top altar, is a phial brought back by a Flemish knight from the Crusades in the Holy Land.And that phial, do you know what it's said to contain?Ray:No, what's it said to contain?Ken:It's said to contain some drops of Jesus Christ's blood.Yeah, that's how this church got its name.Basilica of the Holy Blood.Ray:Yeah. Ken:Yeah.And this blood, right, though it's dried blood,at different times over many years,they say it turned back into liquid.Turned back into liquid from dried blood.At various times of great stress.Ray:Yeah? Ken:Yeah.So, yeah, I'm gonna go up in the queue and touch it,which is what you do.Ray:Yeah? Ken:Yeah. You coming?Ray:Do I have to?Ken:Do you have to? Of course you don't have to.It's Jesus' fucking blood, isn't it?Of course you don't fucking have to!Of course you don't fucking have to!SQUARERay:You little fucking cunt.CHURCHRay:Murder, Father.Churchman:Why did you murder someone, Raymond?Ray:For money, Father.Churchman:For money?You murdered someone for money?Ray:Yes, Father.Not out of anger, not out of nothing. For money.Churchman:Who did you murder for money, Raymond?Ray:You, Father.Churchman:I'm sorry?Ray:I said you, Father.What, are you deaf?Harry Waters says hello.Churchman:The little boy.ON THE PAPER..1.Being moody.2.Being bad at maths.3.Being Sad.MUSEUMRay:I quite like this one.All the rest were rubbish by spastics,but this one's quite good.What's that all about, then?Ken:It's Judgment Day, you know? Ray:Oh, yeah.What's that then?Ken:Well, it's, you know, the final day on Earth.When mankind will be judged for all the crimes.they've committed and that.Ray:And see who gets into Heaven and who gets into Hell and all that?Ken:Yeah.Ray:And what's the other place?Ken:Purgatory.Ray:Purgatory?Ken:Purgatory's kind of like the in-betweeny one.Ray:You weren't really shit, but you weren't all that great, either.Like Tottenham.Do you believe in all that stuff, Ken?Ken:About Tottenham?Ray:The Last Judgment and the afterlife.Guilt and sins and Hell and all that?Ken:Um...Well...SQUAREKen:I don't know, Ray. I don't know what I believe.The things you're taught as a child,they never really leave you, do they?So, like, I believe in trying to lead a good life.Like, if there's an old lady, carrying her shopping home,I don't try and help her carry her shopping, I don't go that far,but I'll certainly hold the door open for her and that,and let her go out before me.Ray:Yeah. And anyway, if you tried to help her carry her shopping,she'd probably think you were just trying to nick her shopping.Ken:Exactly. Ray:This is the world we live in today.Ken:At the same time as trying to lead a good life,I have to reconcile myself with the fact that, yes, I have killed people.Not many people. Most of them were not very nice people.Apart from one person.Ray:Who's that?Ken:This fellow, Danny Aliband's brother.He was just trying to protect his brother. Like you or I would.He was just a lollipop man.He came at me with a bottle. What are you gonna do?I shot him down.Ray:Hmm.In my book, though, sorry, someone comes at you with a bottle,that is a deadly weapon, he's gotta take the consequences.Ken:I know that in my heart.I also know that he was just trying to protect his brother, you know?Ray:I know. But a bottle, that can kill you.It's a case of it's you or him.If he'd come at you with his bare hands, that'd be different.That wouldn't have been fair.Ken:Well, technically, your bare hands can kill somebody, too.They can be deadly weapons, too.I mean, what if he knew karate, say?Ray:You said he was a lollipop man.Ken:He was a lollipop man.Ray:What's a lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate?Ken:I'm just saying.Ray:How old was he? Ken:About 50.Ray:What's a 50-year-old lollipop man doing knowing fucking karate? What was he, a Chinese lollipop man? Jesus, Ken, I'm trying to talk about...Ken:I know what you're trying to talk about.Ray:I killed a little boy. You keep bringing up fucking lollipop men!Ken:You didn't mean to kill a little boy.Ray:I know I didn't mean to.But because of the choices I made and the course that I put into action,a little boy isn't here anymore.And he'll never be here again.I mean here in the world, not here in Belgium.Well, he'll never be here in Belgium, either, will he?I mean, he might have wanted to come here when he got older.I don't know why.And that's all because of me.He's dead because of me.And I'm trying to...I'm trying to get me head around it, but I can't.I will always have killed that little boy.That ain't ever going away. Ever.Unless...Maybe I go away.Ken:Don't even think like that.ROOMKen:You look good.Ray:What's it matter anyway?PUBChloe:So, what do you do, Raymond?Ray:I shoot people for money.Chloe:What kinds of people?Ray:Priests. Children. You know, the usual.Chloe:Is there a lot of money to be made in that line of business?Ray:There is in priests. There isn't in children.So what is it you do, Chloe?Chloe:I sell cocaine and heroin to Belgian film crews.Ray:Do you?Chloe:Do I look like I do?Ray:You do, actually.Do I look like I shoot people?Chloe:No.Just children.Ray:Mmm-hmm.I saw your midget today.Little prick didn't even say hello.Chloe:Well, he's on a lot of ketamine.Ray:What's that?Chloe:Horse tranquilizer.Ray:A horse tranquilizer?Where'd he get that? Chloe:I sold it to him.Ray:You can't sell horse tranquilizers to a midget!Chloe:This movie, I think it's gonna be a very good one.There's never been a classic movie made in Bruges until now.Ray:Of course there hasn't, it's a shithole.Chloe:Bruges is my hometown, Ray.Ray:Well, it's still a shithole.Chloe:It's not a shithole.Ray:What? Even midgets have to take drugs to stick it.Chloe:Okay.So, you've insulted my hometown.You're doing very well, Raymond.Why don't you tell me some Belgian jokes while you're at it?Ray:I don't know any Belgian jokes.And if I did, I think I'd have the good sense not to...Hey, hang on. Is Belgium where there were all those child abuse murders lately?Then I do know a Belgian joke.What's Belgium famous for?Chocolates and child abuse.And they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids.What?Chloe:One of the girls they murdered was a friend of mine.Ray:I'm sorry, Chloe.Chloe:One of the girls they murdered wasn't a friend of mine.I just wanted to make you feel bad.And it worked. Quite well.Canadians:Fucking unbelievable.Ray:What's fucking unbelievable?Canadians:Are you talking to me?(He pauses, even though he should just hit the cunt.And he repeats.)Ray:Yes, I am talking to you. What's fucking unbelievable?Canadians:Well, I'll tell you what's fucking unbelievable, shall I?Blowing cigarette smoke straight into myself and my girlfriend's face.That's fucking unbelievable!Ray:This is the smoking section.Canadians:I don't care if it's the smoking section.All right? She directed it right in my face, man.I don't wanna die just because of your fucking arrogance.Ray:Uh-huh. Isn't that what the Vietnamese used to say?Canadians:Vietnamese? What are you talking about, the Vietnamese?That statement makes no fucking sense at all.Ray:Yes it does. The Vietnamese!Canadians:Well, saying it over and over ain't gonna make any more sense out of it.How does the Vietnamese have any relevance whatsoever to myself and my girlfriend having to breathe your friend's cigarette smoke?Tell me how saying...Ray:That's for John Lennon, you Yankee fucking cunt!Ray:A bottle? No, don't bother.Ray:We're leaving.OUT OF PUBRay:I don't hit women! I would never hit a woman, Chloe!I'd hit a woman who was trying to hit me with a bottle!That's different. That's self-defense, isn't it?Or a woman who could do karate.I'd never hit a woman generally, Chloe. Don't think that.God, you're pretty.Chloe:I have to make a call.Ray:Oh, no.You've gone off me, now, haven't you?Just because I hit that fucking cow.ROOMKen:Hello? Harry:Where the fuck were you yesterday?Ken:We just popped out for some dinner, Harry.We only popped out for half an hour.Harry:Yeah? What'd you have?Ken:For dinner? Harry:Yeah.Ken:Pizza, at Pizza Hut.Harry:Was it nice?Ken:Yeah, it was all right. I don't know. It was Pizza Hut.The same as in England.Harry:Well, that's globalization, isn't it? Is Ray there with you?Ken:He's in the toilet.Harry:Can he hear? Ken:No.Harry:What's he doing?Ken:What do you mean? Harry:Is he doing a wee or a poo?Ken:I don't know, Harry, the door's closed.Harry:Send him out on an errand for half an hour,but don't make it sound suspicious.Ken:Ray? Why don't you go out down to the pub for half an hour?Yeah, yeah, I know I said you couldn't,but might as well enjoy ourselves, eh?No, I don't know if they've got bowling anywhere.Could have a look.Yeah, see you.Yeah. He's gone.Harry:What'd you say to him?Ken:I said, "Why don't you go have a drink,you say you've been cooped up?"Harry:What did he say? Ken:Said, yeah, he would.And he might go have a look to see if there's a bowling alley around.Harry:Was he just having a wee?Ken:Yeah, I think so. I assume so.Harry:Sure he didn't mind?Ken:No, he was glad to get out.Harry:He's definitely gone?Ken:Yeah, yeah, he slammed the door.Harry:That don't mean he's gone. Go check outside the door.Ken:Harry, he's definitely gone.Harry:You realize there are no bowling alleys in Bruges?Ken:I realize that, Harry. The boy wanted to have a look anyway.Harry:What are they gonna have, a medieval fucking bowling alley?Ken:As I say, I think he was just glad to get out and about.Harry:So, is he having a nice time, seeing all the canals and that?I had a lovely time when I was there.All the canals and the old buildings and that.Ken:When were you here?Harry:When I was seven. Last happy holiday I fucking had.Have you been on a canal trip, yet? Ken:Yeah.Harry:Have you been down, like, all the old cobbled streets and that?Ken:Yeah.Harry:It's like a fairytale, isn't it, that place? Ken:Yeah.Harry:With the churches and that. They're Gothic. Ken:Yeah.Harry:Is it Gothic? Ken:Yeah.Harry:So he's having a really nice time?Ken:Well, I'm having a really nice time.I'm not sure if it's really his cup of tea.Harry:What?Ken:You know, I'm not sure if it's really his thing.Harry:What do you mean, "It's not really his thing"?What's that supposed to mean, "It's not really his thing"?What the fuck is that supposed to mean?Ken:Nothing, Harry.Harry:It's a fairytale fucking town, isn't it?How can a fairytale town not be somebody's fucking thing?How can all those canals and bridges and cobbled streets and those churches,all that beautiful fucking fairytale stuff,how can that not be somebody's fucking thing, eh?Ken:What I think I meant to say was...Harry:Is the swan still there? Ken:Yeah, the swan's...Harry:How can fucking swans not fucking be somebody's fucking thing, eh?How can that be?Ken:What I think I meant to say was,when he first arrived, he wasn't quite sure about it.You know, there's that big,dual carriageway when you get off the train?It mightn't have been here when you were here last, Harry.Well, as soon as he got into, like, the old town proper,and he saw the canals and the bridges and,you know, the swans and that,well, he just fucking loved it then.Couldn't get enough of it, the medieval part of town.It was just that initial, dual carriageway thing sort of put him off for a second.Harry:Don't know if I remember a dual carriageway.Must be recent.Hasn't spoilt it, has it?Ken:No, no, no, it's just that initial thing.And you know what?As we were walking through the streets,there was this sort of freezing fog hanging over everything,and it made it look almost like a fairytale or something.And he turned to me, do you know what he said?Harry:What'd he say?Ken:He said, "Ken, I know I'm awake,but I feel like I'm in a dream."Harry:Yeah? He said that?Ken:Yeah.Harry:Meaning, like, in a good dream?Ken:Yeah. Of course, like in a good dream.Harry:Oh, good. I'm glad he likes it there.I'm glad we were able to give him something.Something good and happy. Because he wasn't a bad kid, was he?Ken:Huh?Harry:He wasn't a bad kid, was he?Listen, take down this address. Raamstraat 17.That's "Raam," like "Ram," but with an extra "a."Ken:Raamstraat 17.Harry:You got that?Ken:Yes, Raamstraat 17.Harry:Good. There'll be a man there tomorrow morning at 9:00.His name's Yuri.Ken:Yuri. Harry:He'll give you the gun.Ring me on the public phone at Jimmy Driscoll's about 3:00 or 4:00 tomorrow, after it's done.Ken:After what's done?Harry:Are you being thick?Ken:No. Harry:Listen, I like Ray.He was a good bloke, but when it all comes down to it.You know, he blew the head off a little fucking kid.And you brought him in, Ken.So if the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?Ken?If the buck don't stop with him, where does it stop?Ken:It stops with me, Harry. That's an easy one.Harry:Look, don't get shirty, Ken.Listen, I'm just glad that I was able to do something for the boy before he went.Ken:Do what for the boy?Harry:You know, have him get to see Bruges.I'd like to go to see Bruges again before I die.What was it he said again about... Yeah, "It's like a dream."Ken:"I know I'm awake, but I feel like I'm in a dream."Harry:Yeah.Give me a call when he's dead.Eirik:That's my fucking girlfriend, you asshole.Chloe:Eirik, what are you doing?Eirik:Where are you from, fucker?Ray:Ireland, originally.Eirik:And you think it's okay to come over to Belgium and fuck another man's girl?Ray:Look, I didn't know she had a boyfriend, all right?And I haven't fucked her, anyway. Ask her.I'd only put me hand on it.Chloe:Eirik, put the gun down!Eirik:Get down on your knees and open your mouth.Ray:Don't start being silly.Eirik:Get down on your...Ray:Exactly at what point was it that all skinheads suddenly became poofs?Used to be, you were a skinhead,you just went around beating up Pakistani 12-year-olds.Now it seems a prerequisite to be a fucking bum-boy!Ray:That's not gonna help you, man.Chloe:Ray, there's only blanks in that gun.Eirik, don't!Eirik:Now who's the fucking bum-boy?Ray:You, you fucking bum-boy!Chloe, what exactly is going on here?Eirik:I can't see! I can't see!Ray:Of course you can't fucking see!I just shot a blank in your fucking eyes!Is this fella your boyfriend?Eirik:No. I mean, he used to be.Ray:Well, what's he doing here?Chloe:We... We rob tourists, sometimes.Ray:I fucking knew it was too good to be true!I knew you'd have never shagged me, normally.Chloe:No! That's not true, I...I called it off tonight. I told him not to come tonight.Why did you come tonight?Eirik:Chloe, I can't see, I swear it!Ray:Stop whingeing like a big gay baby.I haven't had a shag in months!Eirik:I can't see out of this eye, Chloe! I have to go to the hospital!Chloe:I'll drive you.Ray:Great! Now the whole night's ruined!Chloe:No!You can stay if you want.I just don't know how long I'll be.Ray:I just knew someone like you would never like someone like me.I just knew. Chloe:What do you mean, someone like me?Ray:You know, someone nice.Chloe:Call me. Please.Eirik:Chloe!Ray:Cha-ching!PUBKen:Have you got some sort of problem?Bartender:No, no problem.Four beers in 20 minutes. No problem.Ken:Fuck off.Midget:Beer and a red wine.Prostitute:I'll be back.Ken:How's the movie going?Midget:It's a jumped-up Eurotrash piece of rip-off fucking bullshit.Ken:Like, in a bad way?Your girlfriend's very pretty.Midget:She ain't my girlfriend.She's a prostitute I just picked up.Ken:Didn't know there were any prostitutes in Bruges.Midget:You just have to look in the right places.Brothels are good.Ken:Well, you've picked up a very pretty prostitute.Midget:Thank you.Ken:You from the States?Midget:Yeah.But don't hold it against me.Ken:I'll try not to.Just try not to say anything too loud or crass.Ray:Hey-ho. Drowning your sorrows, huh?Ken:What sorrows? Ray:You know, being a sad, old, ugly little man.One gay beer, please.Ken:How'd your date go?Ray:My date involved two instances of extreme violence.One instance of her hand on my cock and my finger up her thing,which lasted all too briefly. Isn't that always the way?One instance of me stealing five grams of her very-high-quality cocaine,and one instance of me blinding a poofy little skinhead.So, all in all, my evening pretty much balanced out fine.Ken:You got five grams of coke?Ray:I've got four grams on me and one gram in me,which is why me heart is going like the clappers,as if I'm about to have a heart attack.So if I collapse any minute now, please remember to tell the doctors that it might have something to do with the coke.Ken:Give us a gram, then.Ray:I thought you were laying off, because it makes you depressed?Ken:You know what? Right now, I don't really give a fuck.Ray:Why didn't you wave hello to me today when I waved hello to you today?Midget:I was on a very strong horse tranquilizer today.I wasn't waving hello to anybody, except maybe to a horse.Ray:Huh? What are you talking about?Midget:Just horseshit.Ray:You from America?Midget:Yeah. But don't hold it against me.Ray:Well, that's for me to decide, isn't it?Are you from America, too?Prostitute:No, I'm from Amsterdam.Ray:Amsterdam.Amsterdam is just a load of bloody prostitutes, isn't it?Prostitute:Yes. That's why I came to Bruges.I thought I'd get a better price for my pussy here.Ray:Huh?You two are weird.Would you like some cocaine?I've also got some acid and some ecstasy.FIVE-STAR HOTELRay:Herve Villechaize, I know, did.The dwarf off, I think, The Time Bandits, did.Lots of midgets...Dwarves, top themselves.Hmm. Shitloads.Would you ever think about it?Midget:Huh?Ray:Would you ever think about killing yourself because you're a midget?Midget:Fuck, man! What kind of question is that?Ray:We're just chatting, aren't we?See, Ken.this is the kind of hotel Harry should have put us in.A five-star, with prostitutes in.You know, sometimes, I think Harry doesn't even give a shit about us at all.Has he still not called?Ken:No. Still hasn't called.Ray:No news is good news, eh?Ray:Who's she?Midget:There's gonna be a war, man.I can see it.There's gonna be a war between the blacksand between the whites.You ain't even gonna need a uniform no more.This ain't gonna be a war where you pick your side.Your side's already picked for you.Ray:And I know whose side I'm fighting on.I'm fighting with the blacks.The whites are gonna get their heads kicked in!Midget:You don't decide this shit, man.Ray:Well, who are the half-castes gonna fight with?Midget:The blacks, man. That's obvious.Ray:But what about the Pakistanis?Midget:The blacks. Ray:What about...Think of a hard one.What about the Vietnamese?Midget:The blacks!Ray:Well, I'm definitely fighting with the blacks if they've got the Vietnamese.So, hang on.Would all of the white midgets in the world be fighting against all the black midgets in the world?Midget:Yeah.Ray:That would make a good film!Midget:You don't know how much shit I've had to take off of black midgets, man.Ray:That's...Undeniably true.Ken:See, Jimmy,my wife was black.And I loved her very much.And in 1976, she was murdered by a white man. So...Where the fuck am I supposed to stand in all this blood and carnage?Midget:Did they get the guy who did it?Ken:A friend of mine got him.Ray:Harry Waters got him.Ken:So tell me, Jim,whose side do I fight on in this wonderful war?Midget:I think you need to weigh up all your options and let your conscience decide, Ken.Ken:Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf.I think I'm heading home.Ray:Yeah. I think I'll come with you.Midget:What's... Ray:Back off, shorty!Midget:You don't know karate.Ken:Don't say you didn't have it coming.Ray:Don't say you didn't have it coming.Shortarse!YURI'S HOMEKen:Meeting Yuri.Yuri:Yes, I'm Yuri.Yuri:Mr. Waters said that might be necessary.There are a lot of alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.You use this word, "alcoves"?Ken:"Alcoves"? Yes. Sometimes.Yuri:There are not many people around in these alcoves in Christmastime.If I were to murder a man, I would murder him here.Are you sure this is the right word, "alcoves"?Ken:"Alcoves," yes. It's kind of like "nooks and crannies."Yuri:"Nooks and crannies," yes. Perhaps this would be more accurate."Nooks and crannies," rather than "alcoves." Yeah.Yuri:You are going to do it, aren't you? Mr. Waters will be very disappointed...Ken:Of course I'm going to fucking do it.It's what I do.HOTLEMarie:Your friend was behaving rather oddly this morning.Ken:Oddly? How?Marie:Well, he asked me about the baby,and if I wanted a boy or a girl.I said I didn't mind as long as it's healthy, of course.But then he gave me 200 euros to give to the baby.I refused, obviously, but he was quite insistent.Would you give it back to him when you see him?I don't want to appear ungrateful,but it seemed like all the money he had.Ken:Do you know where he is now?Marie:He said he was going to the park.PARKKen:Sorry, Ray.Ken:I'm sorry.Ken:Ray, don't!Ray:Fucking hell! Where the fuck did you come from?Ken:I was behind the thing.What the fuck are you doing, Ray?Ray:What the fuck are you doing?Ken:Nothing.Ray:Oh, my God!You were gonna kill me. Ken:No, I wasn't.You were gonna kill yourself! Ray:What?I'm allowed to.Ken:No, you're not!Ray:What?I'm not allowed to and you are? How's that fair?Ken:Can we go somewhere and talk about this, please?Ken:I wasn't gonna go through with it, Ray.Ray:You fucking looked like you were gonna go fucking through with it.Where'd you get that gun?Ken:A friend of Harry's.Ray:Fuck, man.Let me see it.Silencer, too.Nice.Mine's a bloody girl's gun.Ken:I'm keeping it. Ray:Pardon me?Give me me gun back. Ken:You're not getting it back.You're a suicide case.Ray:And you were trying to shoot me in the fucking head.Ken:You're not getting that gun back.Ray:A great day this has turned out to be.I'm suicidal, me mate tries to kill me,me gun gets nicked and we're still in fucking Bruges.Ken:Listen, I'm gonna give you some money and put you on a train somewhere.Ray:Back to England?Ken:You can't go back to England, Ray. You'd be a dead man!Ray:I want to be a dead man.Have you been missing something?Ken:You don't want to be a dead man, Ray.Ray:I killed a little boy!Ken:Then save the next little boy.Just go away somewhere,get out of this business and try to do something good.You're not gonna help anybody dead.You're not gonna bring that boy back.But you might save the next one.Ray:What am I gonna be, a doctor?You need exams.Ken:Do anything, Ray. Do anything.ROOM(Dear Ken,I went to the park so she wouldn't have to clean it up.Ray)Ray:What a wanker!Ken:He said this whole trip,this whole being in Bruges thing,was just to give you one last, joyful memory before you died.Ray:In Bruges?The Bahamas, maybe.Why fucking Bruges?Ken:I suppose it's cheaper.TRAIN STATIONRay:The rest of the acid and the ecstasy.Can I have me gun back, please?What am I gonna do, Ken?What am I gonna do? Ken:Just keep moving.Keep on moving.Try not to think about it.Learn a new language, maybe?Ray:Sure, I can hardly do English.That's one thing I like about Europe, though.You don't have to learn any of their languages.Ken:Just forget about home for a while.See how the land lies in six years, seven years.Seven years is not that long.Ray:It's longer than that boy got.Me first fucking job.Great hitman I turned out to be.Ken:Some people just aren't cut out for it, Ray.Ray:Are you?Ray:When are you going back to England?Ken:I'll head back in a couple of hours or something.Ray:Harry's not gonna be mad at you, is he? For letting me go?Ken:I'll sort out Harry.Ray:Just tell him I'll have probably killed meself in a fortnight, anyway.Ken:You won't, will you, Ray?Ken:Harry? It's Ken.Listen to this noise.Do you know what that is?Yeah, I know you know it's a train.Do you know what train?Well, it's a train that Ray just got on,and he's alive and he's well,and he doesn't know where he's going and neither do I.So if you need to do your worst, do your worst.You've got the address of the hotel. I'll be here waiting.Because I've got to quite like Bruges, now.It's like a fucking fairytale or something.HARRY'S HOMEHarry's wife:Harry.Harry's wife:Harry!Harry:What?Harry's wife:It's an inanimate fucking object.Harry:You're an inanimate fucking object!Harry:Now, you lot be good for your mummy and lmamoto, okay?'Cause Daddy's got to go away for a few days.Harry's wife:Where are you going?Harry:I've got to go to Bruges.Harry's wife:Bruges? Where's that?Harry:It's in Belgium.Harry's wife:Why would anybody have to go to Belgium?Harry:'Cause I've got to sort something out.Harry's wife:Is it something to do with the phone?Harry:It's something to do with Ken.It's a matter of honor.Harry's wife:Well, it ain't gonna be dangerous, is it?Harry:Well, of course it's gonna be dangerous if it's a matter of fucking honor!Harry's wife:You are bringing the fellas with you?Tell me you're bringing the fellas with you.Harry.Harry:I'm sorry for calling you an inanimate object.I was upset.ON THE TRAINPolice:You're Irish? Ray:Yes.Police:What is your name?Ray:Derek Perlurrl.Police:You hit the Canadian.You hit the Canadian.Ray:I "heet" the Canadian?I don't know what you're talking about.Canadian:That's him! That's the motherfucker.Police:You hit the Canadian, yeah?Ray:Canadian? Shit.Police:We're taking you back to Bruges. Ray:Brilliant.YURI'S HOMEHarry:Aye aye.Yuri:Take your pick, Mr. Waters.Harry:An Uzi?I'm not from South Central Los fucking Angeles.I didn't come here to shoot20 black 10-year-olds in a fucking drive-by.I want a normal gun for a normal person.Yuri:I knew he wouldn't kill the guy.I could see it in his eyes when I was telling him about the alcoves.Harry:About the what? Yuri:The alcoves.The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park.Oh, I also have some dumdums.You use this word, "dumdums"?The bullets that make the head explode?Harry:Dumdums, yeah.Yuri:Would you like some of these dumdums?Harry:I know I shouldn't,but I will.Eirik:Motherfucker.Harry:Is he talking to me?Yuri:No, Eirik's on your side, Mr. Waters.Your young friend blinded him last night.Harry:Ray did?Eirik:I was trying to rob him and he took my gun from me.And the gun was full of blanks,and he shot the blank into my eye.And now, I cannot see from this eye ever again,the doctors say.Harry:Well, to be honest, it sounds like it was all your fault.Eirik:What?Harry:I mean, basically, if you're robbing a man and you're only carrying blanks,and you allow your gun to be taken off you,and you allow yourself to be shot in the eye with a blank,for which I assume the person has to get quite close to you, then,yeah, really, it's all your fault for being such a poof.So why don't you stop whingeing and cheer the fuck up?Yuri:Eirik, I really wouldn't respond.Eirik:I thought you wanted the guy dead?Harry:I do want the guy dead. I want him fucking crucified.But it don't change the fact that he stitched you up like a blind, little gay boy. Does it?Thanks for the gun, Yuri.SQUAREHarry:Well?Ken:The boy is suicidal, Harry.He's a walking dead man.Keeps going on about Hell and purgatory...Harry:When I phoned you yesterday, did I ask you,"Ken, will you do me a favor and become Ray's psychiatrist, please?"No. What I think I asked you was,"Could you go blow his fucking head off for me?""He's suicidal"?I'm suicidal. You're suicidal. Everybody's fucking suicidal!We don't all keep going on about it!Has he killed himself yet?No. So he's not fucking suicidal, is he?Ken:He put a loaded gun to his head this morning.I stopped him. Harry:He... What?This gets fucking worse!Ken:We were down in the park...Harry:Let me get this right. You were down in the park?What's that got to do with fucking anything?Let me get this right.Not only have you refused to kill the boy,you've even stopped the boy from killing himself,which would have solved my problem,which would have solved your problem,which sounds like it would've solved the boy's problem.Ken:It wouldn't have solved his problem.Harry:Ken, if I had killed a little kid, accidentally or otherwise,I wouldn't have thought twice.I'd have killed myself on the fucking spot.On the fucking spot.I'd have stuck the gun in me mouth on the fucking spot!Ken:That's you, Harry.The boy has the capacity to change.The boy has the capacity to do something decent with his life.Harry:Excuse me, Ken. I have the capacity to change.Ken:Yeah, you do.You've the capacity to get fucking worse!Harry:Yeah, now I'm getting down to it!Ken:Harry, let's face it.And I'm not being funny, I mean no disrespect,but you're a cunt.You're a cunt now, you've always been a cunt.And the only thing that's gonna change is you're gonna become an even bigger cunt.Maybe have some more cunt kids.Harry:Leave my kids fucking out of it.What have they done?You fucking retract that bit about my cunt fucking kids!Ken:I retract that bit about your cunt fucking kids.Harry:Insulting my fucking kids! That's going overboard, mate!Ken:I retracted it, didn't I?Still leaves you being a cunt.Harry:Yeah, I fucking got that.Harry:Where's Ray now?Ken:Oh, right about now, Ray is in one or other of the one million towns in mainland Europe it's possible to be in, other than here.POLICE OFFICERay:I'll get all the money back to you soon as I get through to me friend.Chloe:It's not a problem, Raymond.Ray:And I'll get all your acid and your ecstasy back to you, too.Chloe:English humor!SQUAREHarry:I'm assuming you've got your gun on you.Ken:That Yuri bloke's a funny fella, isn't he?Harry:He does yoga.Ken:"The alcoves."Harry:Was he going on to you about the alcoves?Ken:"The alcoves in the Koningin Astrid Park." Harry, I know you gotta do what you gotta do.It's a bit crowded round here, you know?Harry:Well, I'm not gonna have a shootout in the middle of a thousand fucking Belgians, am I?Not to mention the other nationalities,just on their holidays. Ken:Hmm.To see the swans and the Gothic and all the fairytale stuff, eh?Harry:Are you trying to fucking wind me up?Ken:No, Harry.Harry:On top of calling me a cunt and calling me kids cunts.I might just have to fucking shoot you right here.Christ!Ken:Let's go up the bell tower.Be quiet up there this time of evening.Let's go up there.Ray:Yeah. Canadians.I feel a bit bad.They didn't kill John Lennon, did they?Anyway, supposed to turn up to court here in two days.Chloe:Are you going to turn up? Ray:Don't know.What have I got to stay for really?Chloe:The most beautiful woman you've ever seen in all of your stupid life.Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.Ken:No way. It's supposed to be open till 7:00.Clerk:The tower is usually open until 7:00.Yesterday an American had a heart attack up the tower.Today the tower is closed.Harry:Here, cranky, here's 100 for you.We're only gonna be 20 minutes.Clerk:The tower is closed this evening.Understand, Englishman?Ray:Jimmy, I've been wanting to say I'm really sorry for karate-chopping you the other night.That was way out of order.Midget:You know, Ray,I'd find it easier to believe and forgive you, somehow,if the two of you weren't laughing straight in my fucking face!It's for the goddamn movie, man.Ken:It is a nice town, Harry.I'm glad I got to see it.I didn't mean to be taking the piss out of it being a fairytale place.It is a fairytale place.It really is. Harry:Hmm.It's just a shame it's in Belgium, really.But then you figure if it wasn't in Belgium,if it was somewhere good,there'd be too many people coming to see it.It would spoil the whole thing.Ken:Well, I'm glad I got to see it before I died.Harry:What are you doing?What are you fucking doing?Ken:I'm not fighting anymore, Harry.Harry:All right, then I'm blowing your fucking head off.Don't come over all Gandhi. What are you fucking doing?Ken, stop messing about, please.Pick up your gun. I know I'm going to beat you anyway'cause you're a spaz, but... Ken:Harry,I'm totally in your debt.The things that have gone between us in the past,I love you unreservedly for all that.Harry:What?Ken:For your integrity.For your honor.I love you.The boy had to be let go.The boy had to be given a chance.And if to do that, I had to say,"Fuck you, and fuck what I owe you,"and fuck everything that's gone on between us,"then that's what I had to do.But I'm not fighting you.And I accept, totally, everything you've got to do.I accept it. Totally.Harry:Oh, yeah?Ken:Yeah.Harry:Well, you say all that fucking stuff,I can't fucking shoot you now, can I?Ken:It's entirely up to you, Harry.It's entirely your call.All I'm saying is I'm not fighting.Ken:Oh, you fucking cunt!Harry:Look, I'm not gonna do nothing to you just 'cause you're standing about like Robert fucking Powell.Ken:Like who? Harry:Like Robert fucking Powell out of Jesus of fucking Nazareth!Ken:My fucking leg!Midget:The psycho dwarf turns out to just be a loveable little schoolboy,and it's all some kind of Boschian nightmare.Kiss my ass!Ray:I guess at least there weren't any black people involved, eh, Jimmy?Midget:I wasn't...I wasn't talking about...Ray:There's gonna be a war between all the blacks and all the whites.And all the black midgets and all the white midgets,which would actually be really good.Midget:That's just cocaine.Ray:He didn't even want the Vietnamese on his side!Midget:That's just cocaine.Listen, we're filming down by the pointy building tonight.It might actually be good for once.You guys should come along.Chloe:We...I think we're just gonna have a quiet one tonight, Jimmy.Midget:That's how it is!In another life.Ray:They're great, aren't they?You didn't. You didn't!Eirik:Mr. Waters? Mr. Waters?Harry:Who's that? Eirik:It's Eirik.Harry:The blind boy? Eirik:Yeah.Yes.Harry:What do you fucking want?Eirik:The guy you're looking for,the guy Ray, he's downstairs at the bar.Harry:I'm sorry, Ken.Harry:But you can't kill a kid and expect to get away with it.Harry:You just can't.Harry:Where? Eirik:To the left when you come out.The bar to the left.Ray:Ken!Ray:Ken! Ken!Ken:Harry's here.Ray:What?Ken:Take my gun.Ray:Ken?Where's my gun?Where's my gun?Ken:I'm gonna die now, I think.Ray:Oh, Ken!Jesus!HOTELRay:Put that gun away, right now!Marie:Mr. Blakely said you had left.Ray:I need the key to the room right now.Quickly, now!And you gotta go home right now.It's very, very dangerous here.All right? Go home! Right now! Marie:Okay.Marie:No, I won't let you up there!Harry:Lady, get out of my fucking way, please.Marie:No, I won't. I won't get out of your way.You'll have to go through me.Harry:Well, obviously, I'm not gonna through you, am I,with a baby and that? I'm a nice person.But could you just get out of the fucking way, please?Ray:Marie!Just let him come up, it's okay.Harry, swear not to start shooting until she's left the hotel.Harry:I swear not to start shooting till she's left the hotel.I totally swear.Marie:Well, I'm not going anywhere.This is my hotel.So you can fuck off!Harry:I suppose you've got a gun up there? Ray:Yeah.Harry:Then what are we gonna do? We can't stand here all night.Marie:Why don't you both put your guns down and go home?Harry:Don't be stupid. This is the shootout.Ray:Harry, I've got an idea. Harry:What?Ray:My room faces onto the canal, right?I'm gonna go back to me room, jump into the canal,see if I can swim to the other side and escape.Harry:Right. Ray:If you go outside and round the corner,you can shoot at me from there and try and get me.That way, we leave this lady and her baby out of the whole, entire thing.Harry:Do you completely promise to jump into the canal?I don't want to run out there, come back in 10 minutes and find you fucking hiding in a cupboard.Ray:I completely promise, Harry.I'm not gonna risk having another little kid die, am I? Harry:So, hang on, I go outside,then I go which way, right or left?Ray:You go right, don't you?You can see it from the doorway! It's a big fucking canal!Harry:All right. Jesus! I've only just got here, haven't I?Okay. On a count of "one, two, three, go," okay?Ray:Okay.Ray:What? Who says it?Harry:Oh, you say it.Marie:You guys are crazy.Ray:Are you ready? Harry:Ready.Ray:Set? Harry:Set.Ray:One, two, three, go!ON THE CANALRay:Keep driving!Ray:No way. You're way too far away.Ray:The little boy.Harry:That's right, Ray.The little boy.Harry:Oh.Harry:I see.Ray:No, Harry.Ray:He's not...Harry:You've got to stick to your principles.There's a Christmas tree somewhere in London with a bunch of presents underneath it that'll never be opened.And I thought, "If I survive all this,"I'll go to that house, apologize to the mother there,"and accept whatever punishment she chose for me."Prison, death, it didn't matter.Because at least in prison and at least in death, you know,I wouldn't be in fucking Bruges.But then, like a flash, it came to me, and I realized,"Fuck, man, maybe that's what Hell is."The entire rest of eternity spent in fucking Bruges!"And I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.I really, really hoped I wouldn't die.ENDhttp://www.douban.com/note/24344026/?post=ok#last

两个杀手，血迹斑斑，背负着自身的罪孽在布鲁日度假旅行。

年轻的杀手雷忧心忡忡满脸抑郁，年长的杀手肯轻松惬意略带思绪。

抑郁也罢，轻松也好，既然已抽身来到古雅的小镇，何不享受一下血腥职业生涯中难得的自由？

可剧情陡转直下，虽想悠游自在，“自由”二字却注定和他们无缘，乃是他们为之沦陷的噩梦：肯接到老板哈里的命令，要他杀掉雷，而肯不愿意使命令成为现实，于是大费周章，甚至丢掉性命；雷则一直心神意乱，困扰在误杀孩童的梦魇中脱不开身。

影片在二人懒懒散散的神游闲逛中刻画出他们的不自由，一个被迫去做不情愿做的事情，一个因心事而悲苦愁情不得安宁。

在布鲁日的冬日阳光下，他们要经历何种的周游，才能摆脱自身的阴霾？

除去高矮胖瘦，英俊臃肿这些体貌特征，电影用简洁略带情绪化的对话告诉我们，雷和肯的处世心态也不一样。

于肯而言，他不相信什么，但相信活着就要做一个好人，要遵循善的规则做事，比如最基本的扶老携幼。

雷马上接着说，扶老携幼？

在这个世道上，说不定那个你搀扶的老太婆还要怪你把她的东西提坏了呢。

他没什么善的观念，也没有什么信仰，也许他只有一个八字眉，永远挂在愁苦的脸上。

曾有两种自由观念在西方先后出现，古希腊柏拉图一派讲的是，自由关键在于拥有善。

人把握住了善，行动就得到了自由。

肯杀人，但他认为所杀的都是坏人，除去一个无辜者，那是为救自己兄弟而被肯杀死的男人。

在片尾哈里追杀而来，面对欲杀雷的哈里，肯陷入了一个轮回，他现在就成了为保护兄弟雷不被杀而反被杀手残害的人。

他之所以要去阻止哈里，那是去做他认为应该做的事，无论是否能够从往日的罪恶中解脱出来，至少在拯救雷的过程中，他能得到自由。

但这种对自由的看法忽视了这样一个事实：人有可能不清楚什么是善？

更有甚者本身就不是为拥有善而行动的，那这些人的行为还能不能得到自由？

肯认为自己是持守“善”的，可难道把坏人通通杀掉就能算善？

所以肯口中所言的“善”，定义并不清晰，他唯一坚持的不过是他自己给善下的定义。

片尾另一个相似的轮回更好的阐释出：若有的人所行之事本不以善为主旨，那此类行为将会产生多么可笑又可怕的现实。

这发生在哈里和雷之间，哈里认为雷误杀小孩应该死，因为这是拟定好了的规则。

而哈里杀雷时，无意间杀死了在场的侏儒，并将侏儒误认为小孩，按照自己所言的规则，他饮弹而亡。

当然，哈里的自尽绝非成仁之举，而只是死守被抽掉“善”的观念后徒留下的僵硬条款。

这是对失去灵魂的律法规则的绝妙嘲讽，它既不能迎来善，又无法避免恶，只能让彼此深陷在你来我往的同态复仇和冤冤相报中。

从肯到哈里，最糟糕的情况出现了，那就是现实生活中，有些人的确没有认识善和拥有善的能力，他们的行动怎么能称得上是自由？

于是便有了善外在于人的观念，这就是基督教的自由观，由神学家奥古斯丁率先写出。

他说，我们自身是无法把握住真理和善的，除非代表它们的上帝向我们显现，自由只能在于真理自身的给予，也就是在信仰神的恩典中才能享有自由。

也许从某种角度来说，在布鲁日即是在基督教中。

伯尔曼的恢弘巨著《宗教与革命》中有一章名为“城市法”，在讲述11、12世纪出现的新城市时，特别提到了布鲁日。

他说，这些城市不是世界历史上的第一批城市，但与它们完全相同的城市却从来不曾有过。

虽然，诸多的历史学家为这样一批城市在当时的出现提出了历史、经济、军事方面的因素，但伯尔曼还是添加上了他自己认为重要的两个因素：“宗教因素”和“法律因素”。

因为这些城市的建立都是宗教意义上的联合，是依靠相同的宗教价值和宗教仪式而结合起来的区域组织。

这时兴建的城市，无论精神还是特性都源于基督教教会。

布鲁日的建立来自于当时腓力伯爵所授予的特许状，在此基础上它建立起了自己的城市法律，甚至这些律法和规则都充满了改革现实和拯救俗世的宗教情怀。

借由伯尔曼的论述，我们来看看两个杀手在假期中游览的布鲁日。

两人对于游玩经过短暂争论后，雷跟着肯来到了杀手观光的第一站：“耶稣之血教堂”。

在幽暗的教堂中，烛光映射出雷的心事满怀和肯的敬畏虔诚。

第一站的用意或许在此：十字军的骑士带回耶稣死亡的血，而耶稣的死亡即所谓的“道成肉身”，在宗教意义上象征着耶稣用肉身代替世上的人承担了罪，而此后的世间众人就用信仰基督教来换取末日审判之时的救赎。

接下的画面是一幕幕鲜血淋淋的宗教油画。

油画用细腻的笔触展示了，人为其所犯下的罪孽而所要承担的种种痛苦和报应。

雷和肯最后在一副油画面前停下，那正是“末日审判”。

这一路的游览表现出雷既在自身的经历中纠结折磨，又完全忽视了走出困境应有的道路。

他对肃穆的教堂满不在乎正是因为他的救赎观念异常淡薄。

当他看到油画的惨烈场景时能激起心中恐惧，可对其中的蕴义则又全然不知。

接下来雷回忆起误杀幼童的场景，编导将其编排的极具宗教意味。

杀人的地点安排在教堂，时间布置为告诫之时，被杀者是神父，误杀者是正在祈祷的小孩，总之，一切的一切，都是站在了基督教的极端对立面。

雷的不自由，正是因为不懂行善的他忽略了“信仰”。

这类自由观念正是强调自由别无他法，只能在宗教信仰中寻求，神的恩典中得救。

对于信仰，雷似乎天生就是个绝缘体，对于罪过，他又有一步一惊心的敏感。

他能在教堂中毫不在意的嘲讽，却又在清晨薄雾中想起犯下的罪孽直掉眼泪；面对肯大谈教堂历史时漫不经心诙谐以对，而看到剥皮割肉的油画却又感到了受刑般的创痛。

虽然，在电影中的他喝酒泡妞打架斗殴饮酒吸毒，随性所至无所不做。

可一看见他那永远拧上发条的八字眉，任谁都知道，他拥有的是揪心苦闷而不是澄明自由。

在最后中枪的喃喃自语中，雷终于意识到这该死的布鲁日正是他末日审判后的炼狱。

当他在教堂中犯下后悔不已的恶行，却来到被宗教包裹一切的城镇里消磨时光，因为自身的罪恶，他在这里所有的际遇都转变成了铭心苦痛的受难与惩罚！

怪不得从始至终，他对布鲁日的态度是fuck到底。

在布鲁日，杀手当然没有假期，杀手只能去面壁。

在布鲁日，爱情也并非遗忘愧疚往事的途径，金发女郎的美丽与温情掩盖不了她是毒贩和抢劫犯的本质。

在布鲁日，想一劳永逸的解脱，自杀却无法成功，因为别人的枪永远比自己的快准狠。

在布鲁日，就算坐上逃亡的列车远离，结果仍旧要被阴差阳错的带回。

在布鲁日，雷连最后死亡的姿态与场景都是他所犯罪孽的重现。

这如宛如圣城又似鬼域的布鲁日，如此荒诞，如此扯淡，甚至连最后的落幕也是迷惑与茫然。

在弥留时刻的雷一边咒骂布鲁日，一边他低语他不想死。

这个瞬间，他说他灵光乍现，那是他正开始接近自由呢，还是更加远离了自由？

下了这片子一个多月了，一直挣扎着是看还是不看海报 怎么会弄成这样？

为了票房？

弄得跟好莱坞大片似的...科林 法瑞尔 看见他出现在演员阵容里不知是喜是忧 focus 焦点影业 这是我看这个片子的最大动力 结果 没错 非类型片中的经典影片打消了我之前的所有顾虑 本以为只是好莱坞式的黑色幽默加枪战没想到会有这样的惊喜 但整个观影过程是略带痛苦的 没有点儿耐性的人（像我）就很容易错失其中的精彩 这也正体现了导演和编剧的功力 把握悬念的能力 矛盾和矛盾间的衔接的掐大好处 叫人看完全片后大呼过瘾！

片子一开始就充斥着科林法瑞尔的那不标准爱尔兰口音 絮絮叨叨的 除了那几乎每句话都出现的fuck外，根本看不出他是一个杀手，怎么看都只像是一个失业的小青年，镜头也晦暗平静，加上那略带忧伤诡异的管乐，有些叫人抓不到头脑。

直到他遇见那欧洲小美妞，直到他回忆当时杀小孩的情景 ，直到他的伙伴接到那个电话，第一个悬念才算解开，原来他是一个不敢去面对事实废物。

呵呵，片子的节奏也在这有了变化，开始变的荒诞起来，这个故事也慢慢的推向高潮，故事不在这里重复，有同感慢慢体会吧在我看来这片子更像是一个童话！

每个人物看似都很现实，自私，整个气氛看似黑暗，但很多细节却又透出那一丝丝的美好，每个人物的存在感是那么的强烈，给人那种没有任何距离的温暖。

也许这就是所谓的炼狱？？？

人间其实不就是炼狱么...呵呵 也许 人间就是上帝的一个黑色幽默..